


Imperfection

by DontRememberMe



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Eremika - Freeform, F/M, Light Angst, Oneshot, Sad, Song Lyrics, Songfic, erenxmikasa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 12:43:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12481840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontRememberMe/pseuds/DontRememberMe
Summary: Eren isolates himself after a hard expedition, Mikasa was always the light in his darkness that lead him back home. She always had loved Erens perfect imperfections.





	Imperfection

**Author's Note:**

> A new EreMika oneshot inspired by Evanescences new song "Imperfection"! (Lyrics included)

Eren was isolating himself after the last expedition outside the walls, no one was getting through to him, not even the Captain himself. Everyone was trying to get through to him, others tried to say he found solace in his isolation, but his closest friends, his family, knew that wasn't true. Levi tried to banish the rumours going around about the younger male. Some said he was going to off himself due to the crushing guilt that was written all over his face, others said Eren was finally going crazy. It wasn't exactly anything helpful or positive that was going around about the already-struggling-teen.

The truth was that no one exactly knew what it was like to be him, humanities last and only hope that almost everyone was afraid and despised of, Soldiers and Citizens alike. Sure, he was a Titan, but he was still Human, He was no Monster, despite what everyone else thought.

That was something Mikasa always hated, she had been with Eren since the beginning, maybe not as long as Armin had been there, but she knew he was nothing to fear unless you were the enemy itself... That's when you had it coming. He did everything for everyone so that their life was safer, easier to get by. Yet, people loathed him for something that Eren couldn't even control, something he couldn't even remember happening to himself that fateful night his Father took him into those dark woods and gave him the ability to change into this frowned upon monster against his wishes, leaving him with no recollection of it what-so-ever. Not knowing what happened to the person that helped create him himself.

Despite what Titans are capable of, they didn't scare Mikasa. And despite what people said when the Rouge Titan appeared the first time around before everyone realised who it was once he had finally run out of steam and collapsed, revealing Eren in its nape, she wasn't scared. In fact, she found the 15-meter titan somewhat of a comfort after she learned the hard fact that Eren was apparently gone...

The most life-changing moment of her life was when she learned that comforting Titan was her family. She had never lost him... Not for a second. He was there, he saved her once before and he was still saving her. That counted for something along with every other time he saved someone's life, yet it was simply cast aside as if it wasn't an important fact. And nothing infuriated her more.

Nothing ever shook her to the core, not anymore... Except when Eren was involved. Then she lost all sense of reasoning and logical thinking. She would lose all of her self-control, with only one thing on her mind...

Eren, Eren, Eren...

She would immediately run to the ends of the Earth to get him back, one way or another, and do everything within her power and more...

 

The more you try to fight it

The more you try to hide it

The more infected, rejected, you feel alone inside it

You know you can't deny it

The world's a little more fucked up every day

 

Mikasa hated it when Eren isolated himself, she knew exactly how much he beat himself up over something that was beyond his control... People died, but it wasn't his fault... She just wished Eren could see that.

She was slightly thankful for his ability that he couldn't hurt himself without turning into a Titan... However once he properly woke up after transforming, he would definitely try while in a zombie-like state where he wasn't usually responsible for his actions, in one where he wasn't completely awake yet after a coma. his subconscious mind taking over.

The one that held all of his rage, pain and misery... His self-blame and depression. His imperfections.

All Mikasa ever wanted was to be close to him, she didn't like it when he was gone, or when he simply disappeared into himself, like now. 

She was always the one to save him, and, despite all the times she had, whether he got taken by force or something else, she always found that the hardest thing to do was to save him from himself as she watched him fall apart. There was no reasoning to that, he wouldn't dare listen to the comforts that turned into lies as soon as they reached his ears. He only had himself to blame, or at least that's what he had convinced himself after every heartache he had faced in his short life. She would take it all, every last part of his dripping and unbearable pain into her own heart so he could smile genuinely like he had done once before the fall of Wall Maria, at least one more time.

Mikasa swore that she would break his internal damned cycle one day, she just hoped he'd last long enough for her to finally break through to him. Eren was irreplaceable, special. And she would never go anywhere without him. She would always have his back and be on his side at whatever the cost, she would always fight for him, he was her purpose, the very reason for her continued existence and her whole reason for living. He was her whole world and she longed for the day, the moment, the light would break through. She couldn't take it if he remained this way, bitter and self-loathing. He himself was the last enemy he needed on his very long list of people that wanted him dead, to be dissected unhumainly on a cold metal table. And Mikasa had always loved every one of his perfect imperfections.

Eren had saved her long ago and brought her back to life, she wanted- No, needed to return the favour... To the man she loved in this life and next. Forever and always.

If she never saw him again, that would be the end of her. He had promised her forever and she would make sure he kept that promise. He was never alone, he just couldn't see it.

She would always save him, until her last breath.

 

I'm gonna save you from it, together we'll outrun it

Just don't give into the fear

So many things I would've told you if I knew that I was never gonna see you again

I wanna lift you up into the light that you deserve

I wanna take your pain into myself so you won't hurt

Don't you dare surrender, don't leave me here without you

Cause I could never replace your perfect imperfection

 

These expedition results, however, was something Eren couldn't ignore. His mind was completely clouded with blood filled flashbacks and cries for help he couldn't tend to. Levi had always told him to not think about it, that those brave soldiers died fighting for Humanity and that their sacrifice meant something. While that may be true, what Eren couldn't take was their terrified faces as they took their last breath, not knowing what would be waiting for them on the other side. What he couldn't handle was the angry crowd greeting the smaller regiment as they came home battered and bruised, taunting them and the fallen ones, the lifeless corpses they managed to bring home and the ones that they couldn't.

Eren remembered the first time he came face to face with the angry and disappointed crowd after returning home, after he failed his mission and fight against the Female Titan. The tears still feeling fresh on his face. Usually, he would just blame his tiredness after waking up from his unconscious state, but words do hurt some of the strongest of people. Waking up to the sounds of that nature were never easy, the cries of families if their child never returned home with their Regiment, the greedy market owners that would rather have their taxes put to "Better use" and say that the Scouting Regiment was a waste of space, food, water and resources, the people that say the fallen ones died for nothing. Eren hated all of that, and the crowd was always harder to face every time they set foot back inside the walls. And there was no exception this time.

 

The way you look us over, your counterfeit composure

Pushing again and again and sinking lower and lower

The world is on our shoulders, do you really know the weight of the words you say?

You want a little of it, you just can't let go of it

You've got an ego to feed, too late to rise above it

Don't look now, but the little girl's got a grenade

 

Mikasa was never affected by the hurtful words the crowd were capable of spewing at them, she didn't listen or even care. It only became her problem the first time that she saw that it made Eren break down in tears and she could do nothing but hold his hand tightly until they got back to base.

They both remembered watching the Scouts return home after a hard mission when they were young, there were no greater people Eren had looked up to more all his life, and he still looked up to them for giving humanity, even the people that didn't deserve it, a fighting chance of survival. Mikasa smiled faintly at the sudden memories of Eren grabbing her hand and pulling her to be a part of the crowd. She shook her head slightly at all the times Eren would pick fights with the hateful people that couldn't see humanities future outside the walls. The spiteful people that wanted to live like cattle, not wanting to see the bigger picture that had always been there. She lightly ran her fingers along the cold stone walls as she walked towards Erens room, mentally preparing herself for him lashing out at her like he would do usually.

She lightly placed her hand on the door, leaning in close to her any sound. She frowned when she heard quiet sobbing, wanting nothing more than to just hold him and tell him that everything will be alright. But the sad reality was that no one could ever promise someone else something like that, not in their world where death always crept in closer at every corner.

She wouldn't knock, she knew he wouldn't let her in by choice. She opened the door quietly and peered inside, seeing him in a corner of his room on the floor in the dark.

 

I'm gonna lift you up into the light that you deserve

I'm gonna take you down to the real world so you can watch it burn

Don't you dare surrender, don't leave me here without you

Cause I could never replace your perfect imperfection

We stand undefined, can't be drawn with a straight line

This will not be our ending. We are alive, we are alive

 

"Eren?..." She called softly.

Erens breath hitched, his sobs quietening immediately. He looked towards the sudden intruder wide-eyed, not even hearing his door being opened, as a small slither of the dim light from the hallway shone warmly on his face, illuminating a teal coloured and bloodshot eye.

"M... Mikasa... what are you doing here?..."

Not everyone knew, but Eren and Mikasa always had a special type of relationship. They knew how the others mind worked, inside and out. Eren would never admit it out loud, but he needed her. And it couldn't be more obvious to everyone that Mikasa needed Eren to survive and function. They didn't know exactly what they were to each other, but it was enough. For now. She was always there to calm him down when he couldn't think straight, he was always there to give her purpose and reason.

"You've been keeping to yourself... And I know exactly how you get when you're alone for too long..."

"Please just go away... It... It was all my fault... You were there, you saw exactly what happened... You can't win this one..."

"Eren, listen to me..." She closed the door behind herself "What happened the other day was out of your control, you had to focus... You couldn't save them, no one could..." She spoke sadly as she kneeled down in front of him, gently taking his healing hands into her own, soothingly rubbing her thumbs over his bruised knuckles. She didn't even have to look at the walls around them to know that they were damaged and dented.

"How can you say that..." He looked down, feeling his eyes burn, a tear escaping his haunted gaze

She gently took his face in her hands, rubbing her thumbs gently under his puffy eyes as she wiped away his tears slowly "It wasn't your fault... I'll say that as many times as you need me to..."

Eren couldn't help but lean into her always calming touch just slightly. All he needed was one touch or look from her to be brought down to earth again. She always reminded him of home... And Mikasa was the only one to ever see him in such a vulnerable state, she knew all of his highs and lows.

"I don't know if I could keep doing this... I just have to keep watching everyone die... It's always my fault... I should just disappear..."

"Don't say that..."

"It's true..." His voice cracked "Maybe those people are right... I should just be shot on sight..."

"Eren... No. They're wrong. All of those Bastards are..." She smiled slightly sadly "You said the same thing when we were young, Hell you even hit some of those Assholes with the sticks we collected..."

If there was anything she could do, it was at least find some happiness in even making him crack the smallest of smiles. Talking about the more peaceful times was always something that even made him feel a little better, happier, but it was also dangerous. Those times of blissful ignorance were gone, never to be re-lived again, only in their minds, to be felt in their dedicated hearts.

"Yeah... They were idiots..." He chuckled sadly, wiping his face with his sleeve a bit when Mikasa released his face

"No, they're Idiots... I have half a mind to do something about them... It's hard for me to forget the faces of people that hurt you..."

"You'll just get in trouble..." He shook his head a bit "It's not worth it. You're smart enough to know that..." He lightly placed his hand over hers as they rested in her lap.

"You're all I care about... You know that, right?... All I want... Is to be close to you...."

"I've known that for a while..." He smiled slightly, looking up at her "...I know I act like an Idiot sometimes, I know I didn't get that stupid nickname 'Suicidal Bastard' for nothing..." He half smirked to himself in thought "...Just... Thank you, for never giving up on me, Mikasa..."

 

Don't you dare surrender, don't leave me here without you

Cause I could never replace your perfect imperfection

Don't you dare surrender, I'm still right beside you

And I could never replace your perfect imperfection.


End file.
